Thought piece Thursday #18 - How to have the difficult conversations and top 3 reasons why you need to have them

What difficult conversations have you been avoiding recently & what has it been costing you?

Topics you may be avoiding difficult conversations in:

  • Everything

Okay we'll be a bit more specific than everything however we're often avoiding having conversations about our finances, relationships, career, fitness and health or even what your partner really looks like in that outfit.

Surely you'd much rather ask the tough questions that have to face your inner lions?

Surely you'd much rather ask the tough questions that have to face your inner lions?

You came here expecting to see about how to have difficult conversations & that's what we're going to give you a step-by step

  1. Establish what question / s it is you want to ask
    If you don't know what question it is you want to ask then how can you expect the person, even if that is yourself, to answer the question? It's important to get clear on what you would like to ask in the conversation  and what questions will make this an effective conversation
  2. Decide on why you want to have the conversation
    What are you hoping to achieve from the conversation? Would you like a decision to be made, are you looking to start an ongoing business or personal relationship with a person or are you simply looking to catch up with someone 
  3. Understand the obstacles that are stopping you from having the conversation
    There is a reason why you haven't already had the conversation otherwise you probably would have had it right? It could be that it is not a priority (maybe you don't "have the time"), you're afraid of rejection or hurting the other person or perhaps are concerned about how bad the situation is. Whatever the reason, reflect on what has held you back and realise that the only way the situation or question will be answered is if you have the conversation
  4. Book in a time to have the conversation
    What get's scheduled get's done right? If you do not book in time or at least flag it with the person that you would like to have a discussion, it is unlikely to happen. Be as specific as you can and if it's too difficult to schedule in person, do it over the phone. Keep in mind though that there is very little that can replace the effectiveness of face to face communication
  5. Follow through and enjoy the conversation
    Make sure you follow through on what you have agreed upon. There is nothing worse for you or the other person to have a catch-up organised for it to fall through. While sure, life will happen and things will come up, where possible stick to your commitments. Most of all enjoy the process and the conversation! It does not need to be 100% serious all the time as well, make it playful and as authentic as you can

Okay now onto the top 3 reasons why you need to have the difficult conversations, in no particular order:

  1. You're not fully living if you aren't being fully honest with yourself
    If you can't be honest with yourself about what you're holding back on, who else are you handling the truth carelessly with? Understand that it's okay to not know exactly what you want, trust me even most early 40 year olds are still figuring it out. Be open and embrace it, you'll be surprised how it may improve your conversations 
  2. You won't be achieving your full potential, which means you may not be giving your full  potential to the world
    If you are afriad to approach that cute person at the bar it's unlikely that they will approach you. You never know that this could be the opportunity to meet the person who pushes you to achieve your dreams. Same goes for having the difficult conversations with your financial advisor, boss or friends. What is withholding from these conversations costing you, in time and money
  3. You'll miss opportunities
    By not being honest and open with yourself, it's likely you will not be clear on what you want to say no to but simply aren't aware of. This sounds strange however every time you say yes to something you say no to something else. What is it that you've committed or said yes to recently?

Know Money Glee (ers) that this is not easy & is one of those things that takes a minute to learn and a lifetime to master. Keep learning and working out what works for you and why you're avoiding having more of those difficult conversations

What difficult conversations have you had to have recently?

Why aren't you having them & how has not having them affected your time and money?

Thanks for stopping by and any questions let us know. Remember to live your Money Glee!